Some items shifted during flight; one such dislodged was he,
Distinguished Earl, a single-serve bag of premium Grey tea
He’d travelled from New York, in a Toyota bound for Portland
He aspired to baristadom–what Frappuccinos he would blend!
The driver stopped in Iowa, in search of Cracker Barrels
Earl hoped to snatch a monocle that suited his apparel
But then he glimpsed a windmill farm and slick doubt slithered in
Perhaps, like Patrick Swayze taught, he could be like the wind
The teabag made haste, for the door was ajar
And within seven minutes, broke free from the car
Now lacking transport, Earl wished for a ride,
and a peach pomeranian appeared by his side
“I shall dub thee Ron Swanson,” Earl bellowed, gregarious
The pomeranian snickered; his name sounded hilarious
Our grey gentletea exclaimed “Onward, my steed!
To Des Moines we must rush, for it’s there we’ll succeed!”
Earl Grey Tea and Ron caused some discord most raucous
though they rested a month to let Earl run for office
He cinched the Straw Poll, lost his grip on the caucus
“Should’ve accepted,” Ron barked, “that call from Mike Dukakis.”
Old Earl and canine slinked into town sleekly
and the teabag perused an alternative weekly
They chomped zombie burgers, camped out at a fest
crashed the most famous farmer’s market in the Midwest
They strolled through botanical gardens with care,
toured the zoo, capitol, and the greatest state fair
Earl Grey loved antiquing, found prices alarming
Then he met Pepper Mint, thought her maddeningly charming
Grey, Mint, and their children built a life in Des Moines
and their tea parties, Reader, are open to join
Based on true events.
I am indebted to @Mlf1967, who advised me on common tourist activities for the general Des Moines area.