Oh my God, Oh my God, Oh my God, FEAR ME, FOOLS, for I am up! COMMENCE ALL THE SMELLING! Sniff snort sniffily snort sniff. My tummy is empty and I needs a food! I must–Lo! A couch! I declare this couch for the Republic of MEEEEE! The couch has a hooman! Maybe the hooman has a food! Bounce, bounce, bounce, WAIT, what are you doing here, tailed-thing? *I* was getting pets! Find your *own* hooman! Ha! I stole your chewy thingawhatsis! Heh heh heh! LISTEN TO MINE SONG VICTORIOUS, tailed-thing! Patrol time! Zoom! That room is fine! Oh my God, Zoom! This one is also f–NO! A PLANT! Bury the leaves! Dig, dig, dig, dig, PAY ATTENTION, I AM DIGGING! Zoom! I have previously inspected this room already! Patrol has concluded! I should–hark, a tail! Spin! Spiiiiinnn! Why do you elude me, tail?! I am a hunter, fierce of heart and strong of will, descended from a thousanzzzzzzzzz.
Based on a request from @gingerblivet and a suggestion from @snarke